Conflict and Management in Marriage and Family Relationship

There are five common conflicts between husband and wife, let’s look at them:

1. Money matters.

Usually it has been a common conflicts of the couples, how to handle finances, how to spend and how not to spend, what is the priority to buy, how much to spend, how to get out of debt.

2. In laws.

Relating to parents, in-laws and other relatives become very difficult after the marriage. The closeness of one partner to his/her parents sometimes become an issue especially if the partner is still helping financially or obliged to give support to his parents and brothers/sisters.

3. The home, housework, mortgages, and other at-home annoyances.

We have this belief that it’s the duty of a “good” wife to maintain the cleanliness and orderliness of the house. Household chores become an issue of who will help or when to help, especially if both couples are working. Daily small decisions of how to run the house become a big discussion

4. Children.

There are many decisions that involve the kids, what school to enroll in, whose group of friends to go with, the discipline you imposed, the curfew, the age she/he can go on dates and a lot of minor issues regarding the kids

5. Romance

As years passed by, you found the “once marital bliss” become a bore… romance has gone… and even the expression of love become a “respectful duty” of the partner. And a struggle to make the marriage last become a conflict.

But wait! Listen. Conflicts can become a friend and not an enemy. Solving problem in marriage requires energy, creativity, and learning how to handle constructively, and will help you control your unnecessary anger the next time you find yourself in the middle of disagreement with your partner.

Here are some suggestions:

1. See anger as a powerful tool for the truth.

You do not get angry because you want to release your emotion but it is a tool to confront the problem constructively. When anger exalts yourself at the expense of humiliating your partner, then it destroys its purpose.

2. Be on the right motive when you’re angry.

Analyze your motives when you get angry. Do you want to be in control? If you are angry to bolster your self-esteem, it is not helping in your relationship, but if you are angry in hoping you will restore your relationship, then you’ve got your point.

3. Learn new skill in anger management.

If your partner is the one who is angry, calm down. It will not help to retaliate in words. And if he wants to talk about the matter, listen to what he says. Another way of handling anger is by postponement. When your emotion is high and you seem not ready to talk find a time when you are in a good mood to talk about it. Never leave the matter unsettled, it will become a ghost.

4. Be gracious.

Your partner is not perfect. So learn to forgive, and move on. Anyway, love can conquer even the deepest anger.